The greatest trick the patriarchy ever pulled on feminism is to convince women that religious sexual values were the ultimate manifestation of patriarchal gender roles rather than one puritanical aspect, so rebelling against those by calling ourselves sluts and pretending…
Let’s say a woman is trying to be seductive. What the hell makes you think you’re the one she’s trying to seduce? And if you aren’t, what the hell makes you think you have any right to shove yourself into her business? Your thoughts are your own: you are free to notice her, think about her, fantasize, etc.–you are not free to involve her, through actions or words that disclose what’s going on in your pants, unless she specifically consents and makes it clear. It astonishes me to no end that men have a problem with this. A lot of guys wouldn’t appreciate being hit on by someone they’re not interested in–but they expect women to accept it. — Nahida S.N., The Nonconsensual Sexualization of Unintending Young Women (via disgustinghuman)
(Source: babyghosts, via ashleighthelion)
eye makeup we makeout: to any trans woman who says we're not really women if we use our genitals for penetrative sex: -
first of all, i don’t even want to hear from you at all if you’re straight. straight women have absolutely no right to tell dykes how to have sex. straight women have absolutely no right to tell dykes how to have sex.
secondly, i want you to go talk to all the cis women i know who are queer, all my past partners, who have talked about how much they would like to have a dick during sex sometimes. i want you to go and question the genders of all those cis women who wear strap ons and say ‘this is my dick’ as part of their sexualities.
third, i want you to understand that making an expensive surgery a prerequisite to respecting someone’s gender is classist as all holy fuck. we have a right to a healthy, consensual sex life whether or not we can afford that shit. we have every right, as women, to decide what a healthy sex life means for us.
and then you need to understand that sexuality is not the same thing as gender. and that you are not the definition of a trans woman - we do not all need to enjoy only the kind of sex that you enjoy. you are reducing our genders to a single sexual act. women are not defined by our willingness to be penetrated. women are not defined by our willingness to be penetrated.
finally, i want you to take a good hard look in the mirror and ask yourself where you learned these rules about who is a ‘true transsexual’ and who isn’t. because its privileged cis male doctors who decided these things.
to all the cis lesbians who support this nonsense: shame on you for encouraging internalized transphobia. shame on you for siding with patriarchal definitions of women in order to hurt us. you’re hurting us, betraying feminism, and defining women by our willingness to be penetrated just so you can justify your bigotry. stop it.
I love this so much
Indeed, the idea of ‘winning the girl’ – of overcoming female objections or resistance through repeated and frequently escalating efforts – is central to most of our modern romantic narratives. (Female persistence, by contrast, is viewed as pathetic.) And the more I think about instances of creepiness, harassment and stalking that culminate in either the threat or actuality of sexual assault, the more I’m convinced that a massive part of the problem is this socially sanctioned idea that men are fundamentally entitled to persist. Because if men are meant to persist, then women who say no must only be rejecting the attempt, not the man himself, so that every separate attempt becomes one of a potentially infinite number of keys which might just fit the lock of the woman’s approval. She’s not the one who’s allowed to say no, not really; she should be silent and passive as a locked door, waiting patiently while the man runs through however many keys he can be bothered trying. And if he gets sick of this lengthy process and just breaks in? Well, frustration under those circumstances is only natural. Either the door shouldn’t have been there to impede him, or it shouldn’t have been locked.
— The Creepiness Question (via notemily)
Its an extended rape fantasy narrative, is what it is. (via bad-dominicana)
(Source: iwillnotshavemyvagina, via lovesexandhumor)
(Source: sweatercatz, via guerrillafeminism)
I’m a 14-year-old girl who has lived in Austin, Texas, my whole life. I like art, music and talking on the phone with my friends. When I grow up, I’d like to become a science teacher.
I also believe in the right to choose and the separation of church and state. Or to put it another way — to put it the way I wrote it when I was protesting at the Capitol last week:
“Jesus isn’t a dick so keep him out of my vagina.”
Yes, that’s my sign.
I came up with it last week when my friend and I were trying to think of ideas for what would get people’s attention to protest the scary restrictions that are happening in my state trying to take away a woman’s right to safe and accessible abortions.
When my friend and I took turns holding the sign, one of the pictures of her went viral.
Then my dad went online to defend the sign on Twitter and other online forums.
That’s when people started calling me a “whore.”
I’m going to be honest about what it feels like to be called that as a 14-year-old girl who has never had sex and who doesn’t plan to have sex anytime soon.
I feel disappointed.
Fun fact during my standard first aid course I was taught that when you suspect a woman is having a heart attack you treat it as such even if as she denies it.
In fact, women have a statistically proven exponentially higher pain tolerance than men do and will likely blame their pain on period cramps instead of the possibility that they’re having a h e a r t a t t a c k.
If you’ve ever needed assurance that period cramps can be painful to the point of debilitating, there you have it.
Here’s the thing - when you argue that it’s impossible to teach men not to rape, you are saying that rape is natural for men. That this is just something men do. Well I’m sorry, but I think more highly of men than that. (And if you are a man who is making this argument, you’ll forgive me if I don’t ever want to be in a room alone with you.)
And when you insist that the only way to prevent rape is for women change their behavior - whether it’s recommending that they carry a weapon or not wear certain kinds of clothing - you are not only giving out false information, you are arguing that misogyny is a given. That the world will continue to be a dangerous and unfair place for women and we should just get used to the fact. It’s a pessimistic and frankly, lazy, view on life. Because when you argue that this is “just the way things are,” what you are really saying is - I don’t care enough to do anything about it. — Rape Is Not Inevitable: On Zerlina Maxwell, Men and Hope, my latest at The Nation (via jessicavalenti)
(Source: jessicavalenti, via iridessence)
Raising a Girl With a Positive Body Image . Girls and Their Bodies -
Talk about who your daughter is instead of how she looks.
“Parents so often say ‘You look so pretty today,’ but don’t say things like, ‘You were such a good friend today,’ or ‘You handled that frustration well.’ It’s very useful to compliment girls on their assertiveness and even their anger with statements like, ‘You were brave to tell me how mad you were,’ ‘I like how you stand up for yourself,’ ‘You and I disagree and I respect your thinking,’ or ‘I never would have thought of that; you are so smart about these things.’ “
Stop seeing yourself as a list of problems. I caught myself thinking - this is when I was 34 - ‘I’ll write a book when my life begins’. I caught myself thinking this and I thought ‘What do I mean when my life begins?’ Then I realised what I meant was when I was finally properly thin and very smooth and my hair was naturally brilliant and I had a walk-in wardrobe like the one Carrie Bradshaw has in Sex and the City and my house was tidy and I’d finally gotten round to having a regular manicure and pedicure regime…I don’t know, just kind of perfect. Pretty, I guess, and kind of perfect, and everything was serene and calm. And then I started…this is the argument I’m having in my head, and the cleverer me is going ‘What the fuck are you on about? That’s never going to happen. If it was going to happen it would have happened by now. You’re 34. Your life has already begun. It began in 1975 when you were born. If you’re doing to do something, get on with it now. Stop waiting.’ I think women have this feeling of waiting - when I’ve just lost that bit of weight, then things will happen, then things will be possible. Stop seeing yourself as a list of problems, stop going ‘Everything will be fine when I’ve sorted these things out’, start enjoying your life now. — Caitlin Moran on what advice she would give to young women (via wordsthat-speak)